Self-confidenceThe link between thoughts (desires) and action (putting them into action) is self-confidence. Self-confidence is the product of education (society influence), but has a genetic predisposition also.
In less advanced societies, it is a big gap between confidence in men and women. Men are educated to have big confidence in themself, while women will have less confidence, thus less chances to make their dreams to become their reality. The lack of confidence in women is inoculated through education at a very young age by imposing rules to obstruct their actions due to subject's sex.
Components of the confidence are self-esteem (consciousness of one's own value), personal optimism (the person who believe in the most favorable results in any circumstances), self-compassion and personal efficiency.
Pessimism / optimismOptimistic peoples are grateful, they are thankful for everything they get.
Pessimistic people are dissatisfied, they never get anything good enough for them.
Pessimism / optimism are gained through education. A child who was always obstructed to act because of potential risks, learn that action is danger and will became pessimistic. A pessimistic person sees only the difficulties in any actions at all times.
A child who is allowed to explore through action (parents show trust in their child), he learn that everything is possible and will became optimistic. The trust in yourself can be influenced positively by other people trust in yourself.
Self-esteemSelf-esteem is built through education: acknowledges, life's experiences, good relationship with others.
It is said that you have to build your self-esteem to be able to get to optimism.
Self-compassionSelf-compassion it means being understanding with oneself.
In general, we are very strict with ourselves (if we make mistakes, we blame ourselves for them). Women blame themselves more than men.
The lack of self-compassion creates inconveniences which lowers self-esteem. If we show self-compassion we will be healthier, we will feel fulfilled and we will have success in our actions. To grow your self-compassion, you should pay attention to the trip, on what you learn from this trip, and not only on results.
Indulgence with oneself is not an excuse for an action, it is time taken to understand oneself, eventually heal oneself if it is about an unpleasant situation before going on.
Savior syndrome: the person will show the most compassion for others and is a very misunderstanding with oneself (it is not allowed for him / her to do mistakes).
Sow yourself same compassion you sow to your best (the dearest) friend.
NB: The society promote competition and it will be recognized only the winners and only the best of all.
Personal efficiencyPersonal efficiency is the belief in your ability to accomplish something. The personal efficiency can change our way of thinking, our behaviors and our decisions.
Personal efficiency is gained through specialization: repetition and experience.
The way to grow the personal efficiency is by choosing you dreams and / or wishes that you can quantify (you can define detailed for yourself what you wish to accomplish).
Creativity and intensive action (sport) grow the trust in yourself that you can do anything you wish.
The personal efficiency demonstrate you that you can do what you set out to do based on your previous experiences. The new task is same with a previous one with some variations.
Imposter syndrome; a person how has some knowledge about something, but will not be able to perform (do) that specific something because of lack of experience. That person will become frightened in front of the challenge and will fail.
There are three type of persons based on their postures:
submissiveness is the behavior of looking on the ground
humble is the behavior of looking straight ahead (keeping your chin parallel with the ground)
arrogant is the behavior of looking over people heads
The self-confidence is that something (it is a energy and informational force) which transforms thoughts into actions. From I wish, I'd like to I do.
The hereditary baggage plus early childhood experience and education (the impact of society on a person) are the base of self-confidence.
The self-confidence persons are non-aggressive, because they will get what they set out to do without any fight. Aggression is coming from persons without self-confidence as a self-defense mechanism.
Social media is acting as an inhibitor of self-confidence because promote elites and perfection showing a filtered imagine to the detriment of reality.
Perfections is an obstacle in self-confidence. Self-confidence is growing from success (I did it) and from failures (I did not make it for now) too. If only perfection (an ideal not practical in real life) is good enough, than the self-confidence is damaged in time because the perfection is never reached (there are only failures).
Social tolerance: based on American studies: men are over estimate themself with 30%, meanwhile women are under estimate themself with 20% (the difference in wages earned by men and women is matching same percentages).
Women have the relational mind, they are capable to empathy. There are three neurotransmitters helping with the growth of self-confidence for women: serotonin (anxiety inhibitor), oxytocin (sustain the activity from prefrontal cortex, the center of thinking activities and executive function and keep the limbic amygdala to calm down) and dopamine (inspires exploration and is associated with taking risks and curiosity).
- serotonin it is secreted while you have a passion for what you do
- oxytocin is connection hormone and it is secreted by hugging someone for min. 9 sec.
- dopamine is secreted by doing what you believed you cannot do, going over the limits. The mind will overcome the obstacle by dopamine secretion.
Men have the mind driven by action, they do only what have been asked to do.
Our private space is up to our elbow raised in front of us.
Self-confidence in human relation is shown in behavior:
- People who answer with simple YES / NO are people with self-confidence. If you respect yourself, others will respect you as well.
- People who answer with simple YES, but / NO, but (compromise) are people with lower self-confidence.
Overcoming a failureFailures show that you didn't love yourself, you did compromises.
Overcome the failure by understanding: Why did happen? and What is to be learned from it?
How to grow self-confidenceThere are four cores to grow you self-confidence:
1. Be honest with yourself: if you want something, do it.
Example of self honesty: If you set the alarm to wake you up in the morning, do not turn off the alarm to continue your sleep.
If you want to loose weight, do not eat uncontrolled.
If you want to learn something, do it.
2. The intention of doing something: the quantum physics is about demonstrating that the reality is shaping in front of us in the way we are expecting to be.
- survival intention will not allow growth
- cheating intention will end up being cheated on
- win to win intentions will bring success
3. Use your abilities and talents and build your life around them. You will gain in this way the maximum personal efficiency.
4. The results you have in time will grow your self-confidence. Every success will contribute to your self-confidence.
There are physiological needs to learn how to do a task (to consolidate knowledge about something): the mind requires time to connect some neurons and build a solid neural network. A neural network is built in time (between 21 days to 6-9 months) thus mental attention, energy and actions.
Conclusion: The way to obtain what you want from this life is to search within yourself what you really want to do (be honest with yourself) with your life based on your abilities which will provide you with best results and plan to do that something. Require: Work, Intention and Patience (time to do it and to obtain the results).
Self-confidence can be built thus action, wishes, intention and validation from people around us. On the other hand the self-confidence is genetic inheritance. There are people genetically predisposed to be optimistic or pessimistic.
Self-confidence can be improved by activating optimism, self-esteem, self-compassion and personal efficiency in what we do.
Self-confidence cannot be delegated. Only you can improve your self-confidence, nobody can do it for you.
Improve your Self-confidence by repeating high-frequency thoughts (positive thoughts) to rewrite the subconscious (whereas we are made up of 70-80% liquid crystals that store in time the frequency of our thoughts).