Keep your love alive

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For a successful marriage, you two have to cherish your sparkle and keep it alive. There are four categories of needs you have to take care of: understanding, courtship, acceptance and tenderness.

Advices for both men and women:
1. Be exactly how you were when you fall in love. The most important is to have same behavior (activities and attitudes) as you had when you first meet each other. Both of you have same expectation from the other all your lives together. And keep in check your figures. Just because you have now a relationship, it does not means that you do not need to be good looking anymore. It is one more reason to look your best.

2. Build memories together. Spend time and build a life together.

3. Share your friends with your partner and make new friends together.

4. Be proud of your partner. Learn to amplify the good about your partner and to accept your partner defects. If you love someone, you love him / her with all his / her qualities and defects. Judgments will kill your relationship.

5. Show flexibility without compromising. Avoid compromising because it will create frustration in time and could lead to separation. Learn to live together with your partner through rational thinking (see Happiness and rational thinking - styles of thinking).

6. Learn to communicate each other. Be honest with each other in your relationship. Be emotional commitment and investment.

7. Spend intimated time together, share your love with your partner as much as possible. Sex for humans represent a way of bonding and not only a reproductive instinct. Grow your love.

8. Sleep naked every time you can (always is the best). Benefits of sleeping naked: better sleep quality, keeps your skin and your sexual organs healthy, boost self-esteem, improve your relationship. It is proven that skin-to-skin contact between adults stimulates the release of oxytocin, which plays an important role in building attachment between partners.

9. Be faithful to each other (see Monogamy). In our society is general accepted that relationships are monogamist commitments. Exceptions will enforce the rule.
A little jealousy feeling for men is good to cancel the effects of selfishness. Never allow sick jealousy into your relationship.

10. Be active and be spontaneous and surprise your partner. Novelty and action is a great way to spices the couple life routine. Do not let the monotony to shade your relationship.
The routine and monotony (Boredom) is the death of your passion (men or women). Your behavior becomes an easy algorithm to deduce and eventually you will be assimilated into the consciousness of your partner, who will get used to you too much (you become bored). You end up being fully known by your partner, both in terms of what was happening and what will happen from now on. Creativityis the cure.
A little routine helps us build a good, strong relationship; but take it too far and it destroys and “kills your love”. Finding the balance is up to you.

11. Psychic anaphrodisiacs (sexual inhibitors):
For men: Thinking of their mother (the most asexual presence in the life of a sexually mature man).

Another powerful psychic anaphrodisiac for men is the presence of another man in the life of his partner (talking about too many details in regards with the performances of the other man from the past of his partner). As woman: keep the details of your past relationships for yourself.
For woman: all the unsafely situations, especially those regarding the future of the relationship will act as psychic anaphrodisiac.

To be WOMAN is about not being resentful of other women and showing attraction to her partner and not imposing and list the mistakes he makes (DO NOT become the woman who castrate her partner and disabled him).
Advices for women:
1. Take care of your figure. It takes some effort to stay fit, but it is worth it: your look and health will be at their best and you will preserve your youth. What you may consider is that with age or / and with birth your figure will not be the same by eating same amount / quality of food and doing same activities as before. So, eat less is the primary key and eat during the day light as much as possible. Consume as less alcohol as possible. Avoid beverage and drink lots of water.

2. Take care of the way you dress, you care about your hair and nails. You should have same neat appearance as you use to have when you met first time. And YES, you always have time for your person, no matter what. Do not find excuses.
And, YES, you have to be nicely dressed at home not only when you go out. Your partner sees you at home too, and you have to have a good-looking appearance at all time.
Diversify your way of dressing to get the surprising effect. Use dresses and skirts as well (be feminine) not only pants or sport wear.
Keep away from over-night masks. Remember that you should sleep naked with your partner to enforce the bonding.

3. Take care of your house, keep it clean. If needed, ask for help (and insist): employ cleaning lady, ask your partner to help.

4. It will be practical to learn how to cook: "Man's love is going through his stomach".

5. Do not neglect your sexual life. Sex is about bounding not only procreation.
Do not forget man's love is action (having sex). Allow your love as woman (emotions and tenderness) to lead you to sex.

6. Spend as much time together as possible. Everything is funnier if you do it in two.
Engage both of them in daily activities.

7. Spend time together doing what you both like to do (hobbies).
Try new activities which appeal to one of you, the other may love it. We see the beauty in things which are familiar to us.

8. Express your appreciation as often as possible. The man appreciates the compliments related to his deeds. You should tell to your partner that he is good in bed.

To be a MAN is about: knowing his place among other men and learning from the woman how to be emotionally available.
Advices for men:
1. Be a provider. Always try to earn more then your partner. Financial potency makes you the MAN in your family. Take care to not sacrifice "family time" by working too many overtimes.

2. You conquer once her hart. Do it again and again and again. Show her how romantic you can be. This will make her fell WOMAN, YOUR WOMAN and it will maintain the sparkles in your couple.

3. Do not let your sexual life to get boring. Make love for you and for her. It is bidirectional. Learn to give to get more. (see What is love?)
Never forget the fact that love is different for man and woman. She will hope for romance and tenderness.

4. Take care of your appearance.

5. Share with her your free time. The woman wants to spend time with her partner. If you do not want to give her from your time, do not get involved in a relationship.
Spend time together doing what you both like to do (hobbies).
Try new activities which appeal to one of you, the other may love it. People like to do what they already know and tend to stay away from unknown.

6. Pay attention of what she needs. Women have problems expressing their needs (they are shy to ask action from men) and claim that men have to know about these needs and to address them accordingly. If the man fails to address woman's unspoken needs, the woman will feel not understood. She needs to be understood by her partner.
There is a dissonance between the two partners: she uses words to express emotions and he answers rationally. Learn from her how to be empathic. Remember, small children are the most empathic, than are women on the second place and men are just rational (they have empathic regression to emotionally retarded due to the social pressures).

7. Be generous: from bringing flowers or presents to your partner, to helping her with the routine tasks (wash the dishes), or making her compliments (The woman appreciates the compliments related to her beauty.) any time you have an occasion.
Men use to exaggerate with their promises in order to get what they want (see the Theory of expectations). If you want a harmonious relationship, promise only what will be fulfilled and thus you will enchant the chosen one of your heart.

8. Show her that you will always choose her among all the other women. Women do not like the competition.

Return after separation

Never the couple life will be the same after a separation.
For men, the separation will change them for the better because the experience will accentuate their masculinity.